This is my world...

Someone just said that on the television as I was thinking of a title for this post. With all the shit going on right now, that pretty much chalks it up... "this is my world". I say that, yet it is so odd how I sometimes feel like an outsider looking in on my world. I feel like my "world" is always about to spin off its axis. ( oooh, yes..Jill remembered something from science!! ). I am not saying that is always a bad thing, but even when good things sometimes happen, its hard for me make sense of them. I have so much going on right now and as an adult I don't have any choice but to deal with every issue at hand. I could turn my back, run away, and try to find an "easy fix"...but in the end, it wouldn't fix anything would it? A girl that I work with told me today... " No matter where you go...there you are. " Now, if you know me, you know that I have an obsession with quotes... I heart them. Anyway.. so take a second and think about what that means.. "No matter where you go...there you are." Basically, running to another place, house, person... it doesn't fix anything. It doesn't make problems go away, and it most definitely does not allow you to escape the one thing that most people run from...themselves. You see, we have one life...one shot at happiness and one shot to find a way to make life worth waking up every morning happy to be where you are. Its up to each person to figure out what truly makes them happy. I don't think its one thing for each person, but a mix of all the little things. A heart full of love, a house full of laughter, a future worth looking forward to, and for most....someone to share it all with.

"Sometimes it’s easy to feel like you’re the only one in the world who's struggling, who’s frustrated, or unsatisfied at barely getting by. But, that feeling is a lie and if you just hold on; just find the courage to face it all for another day, someone or something will find the way and make it all okay. Because we all need a little help sometimes, someone to help us hear the music in the world. To remind us that it won’t always be this way. That someone is out there, and that someone will find you."

When I heard this the first time, it brought tears to my eyes. The past few months have left me feeling very alone in this world of mine. Don't get me wrong, I am sooo thankful for my children, friends, and my family. I do realize how lucky I am to have all those amazing people in my life. However.. there is something missing.. the one that helps me hear the music, the one that is out there, and the one that I wait patiently for to find me or maybe even return to me.

So, yes, this is my world. Sometimes sad, sometimes full of laughter, sometimes ridden with anger, sometimes flooded with tears... this is my world. I am ready to add hope and music back into my world... a world that one day might not just be my "my world", but an "our world".