How do I do this???
How do I process this...
Today my father had a massive heart attack. He was without pulse for forty-five minutes and is now in the ICU fighting for his life. Surgery was performed to unblock the blocked artery, but we will know nothing for the next 24-36 hours.
What do I do? This is my father. I am his baby girl. He has to be okay. He can't not be okay. I don't even have words. I haven't blogged in forever, but I don't know what else to do. I thought I had experienced sadness and heartache, but today I learned I was wrong. The fear that I would lose him and the fact that we almost did made me realize what true pain is. He is my father for crying out loud!!! He is supposed to be here to see my kids grow. He is supposed to yell at me when I make the wrong decisions!! He is supposed to hug me and worry about me when everything in my world is spinning. He is supposed to smile and laugh at me as I find happiness and love. He is not allowed to not be there. He can't not be there !!!!
He is my dad, he is my kids Pepa. Their Pepa, their one and only. Rae is his Katie Kid and Ry is...well anyone that knows Ry and my dad, they have a bond that only they understand. Him and my kids have their own inside jokes. He takes them to the dollar store, gives them cookies and sugar behind my back, and scolds them only to apologize to them when he sees their tears. I'll be damned if the last memory my kids have of him is him being on a stretcher with the paramedics around him !!! He has to fight and he has to be okay. He has to watch them grow!! He can't not be here!
22 comments:
Oh Jill!!! There are no words. My thoughts are with you and your family. I'm here if you need a shoulder or an ear...
Hugs. I'm sending tonnes of positive thoughts that he will pull through. Thinking of you and the kids.
Lee-Ann (from GR)
I'm so sorry Jill! sending LOTS of hugs and P&PT your way! I am praying for him!
~Sarah (Gymbo4mygirly From GR)
I am from GR. I know you dont know me, but I just wanted to let you know I am praying for your dad and for you and your family. May God comfort you and bring you strength and healing to your Dad.
I'm so sorry. Your dad and family will be in my thoughts and prayers.
Michelle
OMG, Jill!! P&PT for your family. I pray that your father pulls through this! He has to!
I will keep you in my prayers!
Heather
(dmodechicky GR)
I'm so sorry Jill! Sending P and PT!
Stacey (stacekat from GR)
Jill~ I'm so sorry! I know exactly how you feel as I am in the process of losing my mom that was disconnected from life support on Thurs. I pray that your father makes it through!!
Merideth (GR)
I am so, so very sorry about your father. There is hope - my father had a massive heart attack when I was just 15 years old and he was only 36. It was the day after Christmas. He 'died' on the operating table but the wonderful team was able to resuscitate him. My daddy is my best friend too and I was beyond devastated. He has had two mild heart attacks since and several surgeries, but I have had 13 wonderful years with my daddy since we thought we had lost him. I will be holding onto hope that you will be blessed this way as well. *HUGS* to you and your family, Jill.
Tina (sweet201 on GR)
Sending prayers and positive thoughts.
Jill, Your father is in my thoughts. I'm praying he pulls through for you and your family.
(threeprettykidz from GR)
Oh girl I will keep you in my prayers.
Jess(mamaof3cuties from GR.)
Lots of hugs and prayers for your Dad!!! You guys deserve some good news!
Jill, I'm so sorry that you are having to go through this, along with all the other stress you have had this year.
I will keep you all in my prayers. While I know that you are worried, take care of yourself! Your dad needs you to be strong right now.
Hang in there and many hugs to you!
Heidi (badgergirl from GR)
Jill! I'm so sorry! Sending lots of PT!. Sarah (sarahandaudrey from GR)
Jill, you and your family are in my prayers. Please take care of yourself. Lisa (mybabygirl--GR)
Jill - I am so sorry to hear about your dad. I know how you are feeling. Two weeks ago my dad suffered from a stroke. He is ok but no one can understand the fear and pain you are going through unless you've been there. I am praying for your family and lifting up your dad and the doctors who are working with him.
Jill - praying for you, your father and the Doctors in charge of his care. Hugs to you sweetie.
Alisha - Gymbo*Only - GR
You and you family are in my thoughts and prayers. If any of you need anything I'm here for you.
Jill ~ I'm so sorry to hear this! My thoughts are with you and your family. Hugs, rocketbear from GR
Jill,
I am so sorry to hear about your dad. I will be praying and praying.
Jill-
You guys are in my prayers!!!
Jo (tnmomof1 from GR)
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