An update I guess...

I figured I would post an update although there really isn't much to tell.

My dad is still in ICU. Things are still very up in the air. I just talked to my mom and she did tell me that when his feet are messed with that he has started pulling up his feet a little bit. It is unvoluntary movement, but at least it is something. He will take anything right now. He still is not responding to pain, sounds, voices, etc...

The neurologist saw him last night and ordered a whole battery of tests for today. Who knows when we will get the answers on them. I am not losing hope. I am hoping that come Christmas morning that he will be alert enough for us to visit him and celebrate with him.

I think everything finally hit me this morning. Up until now I have been pretty numb and shocked. I would have moments where I was okay and moments where I wasn't. Today has been a nightmare. I woke up feeling like my heart had cracked in half. Seriously, knowing that your father is that sick and there is not a damn thing you can do about it hurts more than anyone can imagine. ( unless they have already gone through it ). I keep replaying the events in my head. I keep having a a lot of what if's and maybe's play in my mind. No one was prepared for this. No one saw it coming. We are all still trying to figure out how to process it all.

Keep my dad in your prayers. We will take all we can get right now.

How do I do this???

How do I process this...

Today my father had a massive heart attack. He was without pulse for forty-five minutes and is now in the ICU fighting for his life. Surgery was performed to unblock the blocked artery, but we will know nothing for the next 24-36 hours.

What do I do? This is my father. I am his baby girl. He has to be okay. He can't not be okay. I don't even have words. I haven't blogged in forever, but I don't know what else to do. I thought I had experienced sadness and heartache, but today I learned I was wrong. The fear that I would lose him and the fact that we almost did made me realize what true pain is. He is my father for crying out loud!!! He is supposed to be here to see my kids grow. He is supposed to yell at me when I make the wrong decisions!! He is supposed to hug me and worry about me when everything in my world is spinning. He is supposed to smile and laugh at me as I find happiness and love. He is not allowed to not be there. He can't not be there !!!!
He is my dad, he is my kids Pepa. Their Pepa, their one and only. Rae is his Katie Kid and Ry is...well anyone that knows Ry and my dad, they have a bond that only they understand. Him and my kids have their own inside jokes. He takes them to the dollar store, gives them cookies and sugar behind my back, and scolds them only to apologize to them when he sees their tears. I'll be damned if the last memory my kids have of him is him being on a stretcher with the paramedics around him !!! He has to fight and he has to be okay. He has to watch them grow!! He can't not be here!

Reflections...

I haven't posted a blog in a long time. Probably because so much has happened in my life that has left me speechless. That and everytime I did post something on here somone took it upon themselves to send me nasty anonymous posts. Anyway, so over the past few weeks/months I feel like I have been watching my life spin and twirl from outside of my body. I have been brought back into touch with life and reality with a lot that has happened in the past few weeks.

First I found out that there was a chance that Chris was going to start a new job in Colorado. Deep down I didn't think it would happen, but it did. Ry and Rae have about a week left with him here. My heart breaks for them. They will only see their dad around 24 days in the next year and that thought...well it brings tears to my eyes. One thing I can say is that Chris is a good father and it is a shame that he will miss so much of the next year. Ry is my little soldier who has been so strong through all of this right now but he has also had his Dad there for him whenever he needed him. I know deep down that Ry will be okay but it is going to be very hard on him. I try to be the best mother I can be, but let's face it I am not a father. As for Rae, I just see her getting even more clingy. My Dad is there for her and she seems to be bonding with him more and more as the days go by. She is already a mamma's girl and has become even more so lately. Anyway, the next year is going to be a test for me. I have to make it through. I don't have a choice. Learning to stand on my two feet has been empowering and scary as hell.

Then on top of all this I lost a very important person in my life. Actually it might be two. That is just a waiting game. I am not going into details of anything on here involving that but lets just say I love this person more than I can ever imagine and not having that person there...well a part of me is empty now. If I lose the other person...well I don't know.

On a good note there are people that have come into my life when I least expected it. I am finally feeling alive and awake in life. Through all the heartbreak, disappointment, loss and everything else it is nice to know there is hope that life does go on. I am certain that I can still get close to another person and not be scared to take a leap of faith. Now don't go reading into this last paragraph. No one knows ( okay okay T and L know ) some of what is going on right now. However, it will not come out on here. I just,..I don't know.... am living life and going with the flow of everything that comes my way.

With all of this being said I have made mistakes ( some really really bad mistakes and some that are a whoops kind of mistake), I have said things I shouldn't, I have jumped to conclusions, and I have done things out of character to myself. I am not perfect. I will never claim to be. I am just me right now and I am trying to learn what that means. Some things that have happened caused me to hold a mirror up to my life and have really made me realize that it was time to get back to being Jill instead of the person that I had turned in to.

So, there it is. That is my update. Maybe in a couple of weeks I will have some better news. Right now I am optimistic and looking forward to the days as they come.

to answer your question...

i had someone send me an "anonymous" question on my last post that said,

"so when is the blog address going to change to www.mammadearing.blogspot.com?"

First off, if you are going to send me an "anonymous" question, then grow a pair and use your real name. I was not born yesterday. Only a handful of people know my maiden name. So, the anonymous part is kind of pointless considering it can only be a handful of people.

Second off, I am NOT changing my name. Everything I have is under my married name including my SS#, DL and all that stuff. NO ONE can force me to change it PERIOD!

Third, if you have a problem with my blog then DON'T read it. I was upset that day and my blog is my place to vent. Good thing I haven't vented this week considering the events that have occurred. God only knows what sort of anonymous posts I would be getting then.

I could go on and on, but luckily it is time to leave work.

You're kidding me right???

Okay, I know I haven't blogged in awhile and while I promised happy blogs, this is not one !! I am blogging right now cause I am irritated, disappointed, and a few other things. Okay...kids... ummm,you have them and they are your responsibility right???? RIGHT !!!! Can you please explain to me why it is so easy for a parent to say, " I'm sorry I just can't take them tonight". You have got to be kidding me!! All I know is that I only get to see my kids 50% ( okay, well it is A LOT more than that these days!!! ) of the time. If I was not able to see them for days on end I would certainly make an effort to do so!! It is not the mother's job to make sure the children talk to the father and tell them goodnight every night. However, it is my job to explain why they aren't going to Daddy's ( yet again) and explain why he doesn't call one night to tell them goodnight or any other things that they might ask. Please don't tell me that he is going to become "that" father. Please tell me that he meant it when he said that he was going to miss seeing them everyday. Right now I am having a very hard time believing it! Can you please explain to me why they have to be put on the back burner behind other important things? I am sorry, are you seeing the fire come flaming out of my mouth yet? Yes!! I am spitting fire mad right now. This is my place to vent so I am doing just that so that when I do have to see my kids tonight at least I know that at least ONE person is there and consistent. Ugh... please tell me the pumpkin patch this weekend will cheer me up!! It will won't it? Oh wait, lots of screaming and yelling kids..nope probably not !!! However, being with Rae and Ry and having a blast this weekend will be worth it all !!

a few little updates...

Hmmm, where to start.

-The Legends are still on top in the Fall 07' Spring Klein season. As of Saturday we are 8-0. Yep, I think the legends are going to sweep the league. We have seen some amazing games this season, but we are bracing ourselves for our first tournament this weekend. I am nervous and excited for the boys. It will be an all weekend affair. I can't wait !!!

-I am still packing the house. I will be moving on Friday. There will be a lot of life changes, but in the end I know I have made the right decision. This will allow me to get back on my feet and to be in a positive financial situation. ( that is ALWAYS a good thing!! )

-As crazy as life has been I am really enjoying it and having fun. I have met so many new people. I have been laughing and smiling a lot and I owe that to my friends. They have been good at keeping my mind off of everything.

Oh...ummmm, did you see my ticker lately??? 70 days til Christmas? Are you freakin kidding me??????? Ack!!!!! Ry is easy for Christmas, but I have NO CLUE what to get chica!! I will have to brainstorm hard on that one!

oh oh oh oh...you have to check out a new artist that I have found. Her name is Colbie Caillat and her music is AMAZING!!!! I wish I could figure out a way to post a song...hmmm, I might need to go do some searching on this one...stay tuned!!

I did it !!! I added music to my blog!! Enjoy :)

Please let me explain...

I feel really bad for not updating my blog as often as I used to. Honestly, it is kind of hard to post anything these days. I don't like to post unhappy things and definitely not personal things. Well, it seems that 99% of the stuff going on in my life is very personal and often times sad. Why do you think I always blog about baseball? It is my release and a way to escape my world for those two hours. My emotions are raw these days. I have never felt more empowerment and loss at the same time. While everything as I know it has changed one thing has remained constant. That is the love for my children, family, and friends. As the world spins around me these loved ones in my life seem to be able to reach in and keep me from spinning out of control with it. Sometimes you take people like this for granted and I will never take these amazing beings for granted ever again. So, as you see things are complicated....life is complicated. I am excited to have a fresh start. I am excited to look into my future and know that I am in control of my destiny. I am in control of my heart. I am in control of myself finally. That is an amazing, yet very scary feeling. For once in my life I am not relying on someone else to make me happy. What a journey I am on!

As for the kids, they are doing good. Ry has been behaving in school and Rae has actually been in a great mood ! We will be moving in the next week. Ry will start a new school, and he is actually excited about this possibility. Rae will beleaving her preschool and she will start a new mother's day out program that is only a few days a week. I however will be driving over an hour an a half to and from work.....sigh... oh well..it is only time right? I CAN do this !! ( that will have to be my mantra over the next six months !! )

Once things are settled I am sure I will have happier posts and the frequency of them will increase. Until then, I apologize in advance for the lack of communication here !!!

Bad blogger...bad!!

I know...I know!!! I have been HORRIBLE about updating my blog!! OKay, so a few things have happened.

1st- I had a parent teacher conference with Ry's teacher. I usually cringe when it comes to those damn things. I have NEVER had a good one ever with him. Anyway, the teacher calls me today and I wanted to cry over the phone. First off, Ry is reading at a second grade level. At the end of Kinder he was reading on a K level. She said she has seen a huge jump in his language skills. He is learning and picking up on grammar rules faster than she can teach him. His math is also at a second grade level !! She is going to start giving him some advanced work. He has A's in social studies and science. Plus....are you ready for this.....????? She has had NO behavior problems with him in the past 2 1/2- 3 weeks. She said he has become a totally different student. She said he is not angry anymore and has started coming out of his shell. She said he is happy and smiles all the time. Do you know how much this means to me??????? I am soooo proud and can't wait to hug him today at the baseball game!

2nd- The legends are still on their dominating streak!! They are 7-0 and defeated their toughest competitors this weekend. I think the score was 18-4. The legends defense was unstoppable this weekend!!

3rd- I am not blogging much b/c I am trying to get everything situated and packed up at the house. Every night I will be packing/cleaning, etc... The kids were with Chris this weekend ( and man did I miss them !! ) and I should have done more, but I almost needed a weekend to detox from the drama you know? I am rejuvinated and ready to tackle my obstacles.

Other than that life is the same as usual. Rae is some ole Rae !! LOL

We have another game tonight so I will hopefully update that soon !! Here are a couple of pics from the game on Saturday.

preparing for little league domination...

LOL, okay not really, but I thought that sounded pretty cool. Our boys are now 6-0. There was another game last night and they won 21-10. We play our toughest opponents on Saturday morning. It will prove to be a challenging game. However, I truly believe that our little Legends will dominate.

Okay, so this week has been pretty laid back. Ry was on green yesterday which is good. He also got 100% on his spelling test !! woo hoo !! If I teach the child anything in life it is that proper grammar and spelling is essential. It drives me crazy when people do not know the proper way to use to/two/too, their/there, and your/you're. I know I learned the difference between all these words when I was in elementary school. I always wonder if people were absent the day those words were taught. Anyhoo, I asked Ryan about his day and he said that Emily ( aka the bad seed) was teasing him again. I asked him what he did. Ry said he rolled his eyes (oh yes, he is his mother !! ) and walked away. I asked him why he just walked away and he said it was because if he said something back to her then he would have gotten in trouble. He said it is easier to ignore her. Jackpot !!!! Wow, this is a lesson I have been trying to teach him for years it seems. I then took the time to explain that not everyone is going to be nice to him and not everyone is going to like him and that is why it is so important that we have our friends. So Ry had a great day at school and a great day at baseball.

As for Rae, well we are still in drama queen overload. She can't do anything without there being some form of whining or drama involved. What to do....what to do... This is going to be a learning experience with her !!

As for me, well I am doing good. Sash came over last night and we talked and hung until about 10:30. I love that girl !! Well, time to get back to work. We are going over the Teresa's tonight for dinner...yummy !!! ( T is a good cook and well I am not cooking much these days !! LOL )

wait...wait... I meant to post a pic of Ry playing catcher from the Monday night game (I didn't take pics last night )

I'm back...

I know...yesterday I was MIA on my blog, but I really didn't have much to update it with. Now, however I do !!

Okay, remember when I was looking for a military school for six year olds??? Well that notion has been put on the back burner for a little bit and has been replaced with charm school for a four year old !!! However, I prefer not to have the lady from VH1's "Charm School" teach her. Rae has manners....I know she does.... right??? Please someone tell me I am right. These days they are nonexistent or so it seems. I picked her up from school yesterday and was told that she was hitting and scratching her best friend. What the hell RAE???? She laughs and tells me she was bad. Then when she sees that I do not think its funny she starts this fake crying BS. Ugh... I told her I would talk to her in the car about manners and behavior. So, we get in the car and I go over manners, what is acceptable, what is not, etc... etc.... I am thinking, okay great, basis covered !! NOPE !! We get to the ballfields ( cause Ry had a game that I will be talking about later !! ) and she somehow forgot what her name or what my voice sounded like. I CAN'T STAND when she does this. I can stand behind her saying her name over and over and over and she just ignores me. I know she hears me. She was talking with food in her mouth ( BIG PET PEEVE) , whining, playing in the dirt, trying to go out on the field, and so much more that I can't even remember. I truly think charm school might be the only option for my chica !! What happened to my dainty 3 yr old?

OKay, so on to the baseball game. It was a pretty good game !! The boys won 21-4 I think. ( I think the other team had 4, maybe 3 ). One of our boys hit a GRAND SLAM over the fence homerun !! Folks, he is only seven !!! We have another game on Wednesday night.

Tonight we have soccer practice....BORING !!! Does she really need to go to practice???? SERIOUSLY?????? Hmmm, I wonder if I can bribe her with ice cream to skip practice. She is only 4, not like she is the next Mia Hamm.

Well, my lunch break is over and it is time that I try to be a productive employee.
Oh, and I am doing okay. I am taking it one day at a time and making sure I smile a lot !!!

A different kind of hurt....

We told the kids today.... I thought my heart had felt pain before, but until a six year old little boy curls up into your body sobbing because his heart is broken then you will truly never know pain. Those eyes and face that are the spitting image of mine looked back at me with so much heartache and confusion. I wish I could fix everything in his world right now but I can't. I know that in time his world, although different will become right again. I want the people that are around him to remember how much this little boy is hurting and that he didn't ask for this. He may be different for a little bit, but I know Ry will see that he has a mother and father who love him with their whole heart and soul and that everything will be okay.

I do not mean to leave Rae out of this. She just doesn't understand it all. The adjustment will probably be easier for her. She has a different spirit than Ry and she tends to see only rainbows and unicorns ( so to speak ). Her world is always fine and dandy. Of course we will show her as much as we always have and more so. The same with Ry.

I know this post is heavy, but this blog is about my life. My life IS heavy right now. For my friends and family who have offered their love and support I thank you. It means the world to me right now. Now I just have to fix my children's world.

Soccer Saturdays...

Yes, it is Sunday ( 1 in the morning ) but this post is about Saturday...yesterday...today... whatever haven't gone to bed yet so it is still Saturday to me. So, Rae and Ry both had games today and man was it crazy.

Here is Rae in all her soccer glory...doesn't she look like a little professional.. ha ha !!!







The best part was when she got 3/4 of the way through the game and decided that she didn't want to soccer anymore. She is sooooo much like her brother at that age !!!

Anyway, I haven't edited ry's pics yet today. It is late and I will do that tomorrow night.

Saturdays....

Okay, before I go into my post here are a few pics from the baseball game...





Okay, so it is Saturday and today is full of soccer games and basball games.....

I will update later with all the stories from today. For now I have to take a shower and get Rae all cute for soccer !!!

I love em...

I love our little Legends !! Our boys rocked it last night.... yes they made errors and no they are not a perfect little team, but damn, those boys love their baseball. Our boys made a TRIPLE PLAY last night !!! Yep, J-Rod caught a pop fly, threw it to first...got him out... threw it to second...got that kid out... gotta LOVE IT !!! They won the game 18-7 ( I think that was the final score ). One of our boys came within inches of hitting a homerun over the fence. There were other homeruns as well of course. Plus, it was miss Taylors and Camerons b-day so the kids got to enjoy cake afterwards. I will be going in to work early in the morning to edit pics so I will post them tomorrow. Ry has been playing catcher a lot and you know what??? He is doing pretty good at it. Ry is not the best on the team, nor do I expect him to be, but he enjoys himself and that is the important part. He is proud of the team he is on. Plus, he couldn't be any cuter in all that catcher gear ! I think I got some good pics of him playing catcher. It was also nice to get behind my camera and escape for awhile tonight. Maybe that is why I love photography so much... for that little bit while you are focusing on capturing a beautiful child you forget about all the raw emotions that are raging within you.

Ohhhhhh... Ry was on green AGAIN today and he got SUPERSTAR of the week at daycare. You know, I am always proud of the little toot, but this week he has been soooooo happy. He said to me tonight, "Mom I am proud of myself " Wow, that is so important for a 6 yr old to be able to be proud of himself you know? He is about to face some hard days and as long as I can keep him loving himself and knowing that everyone around him loves him, then I can call myself a good mother.

On another note, thank you again for all the support I have been receiving. People who I didn't even think cared have been offering me their shoulders if I needed one. However, there is one person that I wish was there and could tell me that they care, but I guess that won't be happening. That really does hurt . I know this person reads my blog ( I have my ways of knowing these things ). I guess blood really isn't thicker than water......

Anyway, I am off to bed. I have been having a hard time sleeping ( getting about 3-4 hrs a night right now ) so who knows if I will actually sleep.

Sorry I haven't had any funny little quirks or anything this week. I guess I have been pretty intense, although I seem to forget that I did post the drunken pics from Dallas. Those were pretty funny. Speaking of Dallas...a big THANK YOU to Sash for making me laugh this week when I needed it the most. Sash, you should so comment and post the "dancing" link !! bwa ha ha !!!

A few "quotes" before I go... ( can you tell I love quotes?? That is the literature lover in me !!! )

Change has a considerable psychological impact on the human mind. To the fearful it is threatening because it means that things may get worse. To the hopeful it is encouraging because things may get better. To the confident it is inspiring because the challenge exists to make things better.
King Whitney Jr

Never pretend to a love which you do not actually feel, for love is not ours to command.
Alan Watts

Do not go where the path may lead, go instead where there is no path and leave a trail.
Ralph Waldo Emerson

Hope is the thing with feathers
That perches in the soul.
And sings the tune
Without the words,
and never stops at all.
Emily Dickinson

Super Star....

So, I pick up Ry from daycare yesterday and he tells me he was on green AGAIN and that he had a good day....then..... the daycare teacher pulls me aside and says she wants to talk to me. I am thinking, "Oh shit, here we go " Anyway, she said Ry has been like a different kid this week. She said that he has been following 100% of the directions, keeping his hands to himself, and while he is still the goofy Ry we all know, that he has been soooo good this week. She said he is on his way to being the "SUPERSTAR STUDENT" of the week !!

My kid...the superstar??? You're kidding me right??? I just kept telling him over and over again how proud I was of him !!! He kept asking me, "Are you proud that I am being good Mom? " I couldn't tell him YES !!! enough. I know why he is different this week and this validates the fact I have made the right decision. I haven't seen him this happy in months. It really does bring tears to my eyes.

Oh, he also got his Wednesday folder and there was NO behavior marks at all !!!! This is the first time EVER since he started Kinder. that he has had NO behavior checks!! Again, proves to me that as his mother I am doing the right thing right now.

We had baseball practice and he was even more attentive and alert there. The dads tried to nickname him "Sleepy" last week ( which I WAS NOT having ). I think Ry is slowly proving that the name doesn't fit. I truly hope he stays on this road.

We have a game tonight and I cannot wait to pump him up and get him excited about doing his best out there.

For now this is my post b/c, well.... Ry deserves a post all about him and his amazing progress and improvement !!! He really is my superstar !!!

On a Roll....

Folks... while some areas of life have been hellacious, there has one been one great thing that has happened this week. Ryan has been on green for two days in a row now !! The teacher sent home a good note as well yesterday that I proudly put on the refigerator to display. Ry has been having so many problems that I almost cried when I saw that note !! He even told me how he stayed away from Emily and ignored her when she started teasing him. ( Emily is a little girl in his class that I compare to the "bad seed"... seriously...creepy evil child ) I am hoping and praying that Ry will stay on this road. Yes, I know he will have slip ups, but I hope this shows him that the rewards for good behavior far outweighs the punishment for bad behavior.

I am getting sick...thanks Christi !! LOL Yep, my glands are swollen and I feel HORRIBLE today, not to mention that I got a spider bite last night and part of my left arm is knotted and swollen. Ry has baseball tonight, but I will leave him and Rae there with Chris so that I can go workout. Man, I need that stress relief. I am still VERY sore from my workout with T on Monday, but it is soooo worth it. Don't you love the feeling of having your stomach muscles ACHE when you laugh or cough ( because you have actually worked them out and used them ). I have been told that I have a 4 pack right now LOL....not quite a 6 pack, but a few lines none the less !! LOL

Before we go a few words....

What I must do is all that concerns me, not what the people think. This rule, equally arduous in actual and intellectual life, may serve for the whole distinction between greatness and meanness. It is the harder, because you will always find those who think they know what is your duty better than you know it. It is easy in the world to live after the world's opinion; it is easy in solitude to live after our own; but the great person is one who in the midst of the crowd keeps with perfect sweetness the independence of solitude. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

( while he is not always easy to follow, take a minute and really READ these words... then let it sink it... )

Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experience of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, ambition inspired, and success achieved. - Helen Keller

BWA HA HA HA HA !!!

Okay, I got the pictures back from Dallas....

I am warning you we were some drunk girls and no we were NOT driving !! My eyes were bothering me on Friday, so please keep that in mind. They were already red before we ever started drinking !! LOL

Okay, so these are the ones I CAN post !!!

Thank You...

For those who know what is going on in my life right now...Thank You for your words of encouragement and support. This blog is not private so I am not going into details of the situation.

I don't have a fun and quirky post today. You are just getting me raw showing my gratitude.

I know the next few months are going to be hard. Hell, the next couple years are going to be hard but I know that my friends and family will be there for me, well for my entire family. I couldn't ask for a better support system.

Again, I say thank you.

I do have one little thing to add. Ryan has been reading to me every night and I am so proud of him right now. He is getting more confident in reading and as a mother who LOVES the english language he is actually listening to me about the rules of grammar. ( for example, silent e's, what y's do at the end of words, what vowels make what sound when combined... yes mother I know I missed my calling as an english teacher... ) Also, Ry stayed on green yesterday. That is HUGE for him. A lot of this is affecting him and I am trying to show him as much positive reinforcement as possible. He was in an amazing mood yesterday which is rare these days. Lets hope that we see more of these days in the future.

I hope everyone has a glorious day. I cannot say thank you enough.

Dallas Weekend....

All I can say is WOW....yup....WOW....

Is it possible for a person to become even closer to their best friends??? For 48 hours I didn't stop smiling or laughing. Well, except to sleep and we only got about 4-5 hours of sleep the whole weekend !! It was soooo crazy and sooooo much fun !!!!

First off, it took Sash and I 5 hours to get there on Friday night !! We didn't know if we would EVER get there, but we did. We quickly changed and headed out. We went to dinner and then decided to go tackle the Dallas nightlife. While I won't go into any details I will share a few things.

Christi lives in a place called Addison in Dallas. There is this on road that has bar after bar after bar. We started out at Sherlocks and by the end of the night we were singing along with many bar patrons at a dueling piano bar. Our night didn't stop there. We went back to Christi's and ended up staying up until around 5:30-6:00 in the morning. Christi had to go to work ( poor poor Christi ) so Sash crawled in bed and if you know me you know that I have a hard time sleeping during the day. I was up and decided to go get breakfast. Christi bailed out of work early so her and I went shopping. Then we came home and I did manage to take a 2 hour nap before we had to wake up and get ready. We went to a sushi restaurant and then out to more bars. We ended up partying until 5 in the morning again, however this time I did go to sleep and managed to sleep about 3 hours. Yes, I know you want the juicy good stories, but they aren't good unless you are there I guess. It was a bunch of girls having a blast !!!!!

I did take pics on a disposable camera, but that isn't developed yet !!

The only pics I have are these... We were about to go out Saturday night. The pics aren't that great of quality. I had to use my flash and it was outside on Christi's patio. However, they are a couple. I will post on here other ones once I get them developed !!




Last night I went to sleep at 8:30 and didn't get up until 5:30 this morning. It was wonderful and amazing sleep.

I can't say how much I love my two best friends. The best thing is that every year they get closer and closer !!

AGain...WOW !!! LOL

It's Friday...I'm going to Dallas...

Just imagine me singing that like in Ms. Congeniality when Sandra Bullock was singing/saying, "You think I'm sexy", "You want to date me", "You want to kiss me" LOL, So now, imagine me saying, "It is Friday", "I'm going to Dallas".

Oh, and I woke up at 4 a.m to Reagan having peed in her bed. I didn't get mad. The child is 4.5 and this is only the second time she has ever done this. It was my fault b/c she had 2 cups of rootbeer, plus she stole my drink and drank it at the softball game last night. So, at 4 this morning I try to open my eyes and.... one was matted shut !! CRAP !!! I think my mascara or eyeliner is expired ( hell, maybe both!! ) Don't worry MOm, I am going to buy some new stuff today and NO I don't have any on right now. Oh and I do not have my contacts in either. I am REALLY good about taking them out at night now. ( if I wear them...I seem to wear glasses a lot these days ). So, I FINALLY get my eyes open, process what she is saying and get up. She is upset and apologizing. Of course I told her that it was an accident and it wasn't her fault. I threw her in the shower, got her changed, put her in my bed, went upstairs, stripped her bed, put her stuff in the washing machine, and then crawled back into bed for another hour. Hey, at least she went back to sleep and didn't try to stay awake. That one would have been a kicker.

So last night I got most of my stuff packed. You would think I was leaving for a week, but hey a girl's gotta have options right??? I have some stuff in the dryer that I have to pack when I get home. I am only working until 1:30, so I have plenty of time !!!

Not much else is going on. I will try to take lots of pics this weekend. Well, you will only get bar pictures if Christi has a camera. I am not taking mine into the bar. Christi has to work for part of the day on Saturday and I think SAsh and I might hit up the pool. I am not quite sure what it is like to layout for more than ten minutes at a time. The kids are always with me at the pool and the only time I got "me" time was during the adult break when they had to sit out for 10 minutes. Wow, this will be a change.

Oh, still contemplating the belly piercing.
Everyone be good and have a great weekend !!! Mom, have fun with the kids SAturday night...

HAPPY FRIDAY !!!

24 hours to go...

until I will be leaving work and getting ready to go to Dallas. This couldn't have come at a better time.

I think everything from this week has my head spinning. Every little thing is pissing me off. It always seems to happen this time of year. I keep adding more and more to our schedule. Yes, I have NO right to complain about this considering I am the one that has committed to it all. That is why I think it will be great for me to go away for a couple days and come back with new energy and a better positive attitude. No one likes a grump, that is for sure !!!

Tonight, once I get home I have to do LOTS of laundry. I have to wash ALL the uniforms ( for baseball and soccer), all the kids clothes for the weekend, plus everything I am wanting to bring. Ummm, and did I mention that I have 2 pair of jeans that fit and that is it???? I am forever washing those damn things !! I need to go shopping sooooo bad, but it just isn't possible right now. Anyway, I have to do Ryan's nightly reading, get them showered, in bed, and pack all my stuff. That is a lot for little ole me !!

I will miss all the games this weekend and that sucks, but I know Chris will call and give me the play by play. Well, I better finish up this day at work .We went to La Madeleine's for lunch and I had their chicken ceasar salad ( with their fat-free ceasar dressing...yummmmmmmyyyy !!! ) Actually, I am sure ya'll could give a shit what I ate there...LOL.

Time to go start a list of what I need for Dallas....It is time to turn that city upside down !!!

No more Mommy....

I do not want to hear this word or any other form of the word "Mommy" for at least 12 hours. Ugh...seriously I can't hear the word anymore tonight.

So, I pick up Ry from daycare and he looks at me and says,

Ry: "Mommy I got on yellow today, but was good in the afternoon so I got a good note from the teacher"

Me: sighhhhh..." Well Ry, that is a step up from you being on red yesterday."

So, I look at the note and it says that he is trying harder, working on keeping his hands to himself, blah blah blah blah .....

I go to get Rae...

Rae: " Mommy, mommy mommy mommy, ( and you wonder why I get tired of hearing this word ) I was good today, I was on green and I got stickers."

Me: " Good job Rae"

Rae: " Mommy, mommy, mommy?.... (she is trying to get my attention while I am trying to read her daily paper)Are you proud of me? "

Me: "Of course Rae, I am always proud of you "

So, off we go to the car while the kids are talking, but all I seem to be hearing is "mommy, mommy, mommy, mom, mom, mmmmmooooommmmm ( the whiny version is the worst )

Now please don't get the wrong idea, I LOVE being their mom, I absolutely LOVE it, but some days I just don't want to hear "mommy".

We got home and I fix them cereal. Oh, real quick, funny thing... When I was picking up Rae today they did an "all about me" page. This was hers...

Name: Reagan Katie

Favorite Food: Cereal and Ice Cream ( there has literally been times when that is what she has for dinner...yep, just hand me that mother of the year award now !! )

Like to Play: Soccer,Cheerleading and Dress up. ( she would play soccer in a tutu and dress up heels if I would let her !! )

What I want to be when I grow up: Girl Race Car Driver ( where in the hell did that come from??? Chica has NEVER talked about being a race car driver...I bet you the boys in her class had some influence on that one!! )

There were some other questions, but those were the ones I remember off the top of my head.

So anyway, back to my night...I feed the kids cereal, we all get changed for baseball practice.

We go to baseball practice and even though the Chris and I are BOTH there, the kids only seem to recognize the fact that I am there. Ryan keeps coming over, "Mommy, I want a hug" Okay, I know you are thinking how sweet.... no he really doesn't want a hug. He was just trying to find something else to do so he wouldn't hustle. Rae was playing with some of the kids and all of a sudden I hear, "mmmmmooooooommmmmmmmmmmmy, mmmmmmmmmmooooommmmmmmmmyyyyyyyy, mmmmmmmmmmmoooooommmmmmmmmmmmmyyyyyyyy ( over and over and over again ). I figured I couldn't keep ignoring her, so I look over and she has fallen in the mud and one of her legs was totally covered. This is sooooo my day !! Then it is time for batting practice, Ry asks, "why am I always last to bat?" Me- Ummmm, b/c you are too busy trying to give me hugs and lolligag and you were the last over here. However, I was a little peturbed ( is that how you spell it? ) b/c the coach watched all the kids bat and then when Ry was up he went to his truck to get the baseball cards...I don't think he watched Ry at all...but whatever, at this point I had a headache and I just wanted to go home. Ry DID hit some good hits though. Too bad the coach didn't see!! LOL

So, I get in the car only to find out that Ry had gotten in trouble at daycare. He had thrown something at the teacher. WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY did he have to get his Daddy's temper??? Ugh... that child gets pissed and throws stuff. It drives me crazy. Now my dear sweet kids are sleeping. Funny how they become sweet angels the minute their eyes close. My head is still pounding and I am going to take me and my grumpy mood to bed.

GOOD NIGHT !!!

Just pics....

Just a couple pics from the baseball game on Monday night.



Ryan catching a pop fly during practice...





Mrs. Tami and her girls !!!

What a day...

Well, I got about two hours of sleep last night and was sick to my stomach all night. I really needed to go to work, but there is no way I could have done it. This happens to me sometimes. I concentrate so much on doing everything for everybody that sometimes I forget about myself. I haven't been able to get to the gym in about a week and my body knew it. When we are running around doing baseball, soccer, work, etc.. I am bad and I will forget to eat. Needless to say I crashed and burned today. The kids were up past midnight last night. Ry had a HORRIBLE day at school because of it. I couldn't get mad at him b/c it was MY fault for keeping him up that late. Oh well, live and learn. It is 6:30 and both of the kids are already asleep. I fixed them mac and cheese, gave them a glass of milk and put them to bed. Chris has softball tonight, so it is me and my blog.

So, the finale of Big Brother is on tonight and for the first time ever I don't really care who wins. I think they are both putzes !! I want to watch it just to see what the sequestered jurors have to say. That is always the best part.

3 more days until Dallas !! Sash and I cannot stop talking about it. I am sure she will bring her camera...or we will get a disposable. Oh the stories I will have to tell! Maybe Christi will let me get on her computer and update on Saturday. Oh okay...so confession...I REALLY want to get my belly button pierced this weekend, but Chris says I can only do it if he is with me...how retarded is that? So... what do you think? One of my best friends tells me, "It is easier to ask for forgiveness than permission"... Mom, I am sure I know your stance this, but remember, I AM an adult!! LOL

Oh oh oh...how could I forgot??? Ry hit his first homerun last night in the baseball game. It was an in-park home run and yes, it was the result of an overthrow...but it still counts !! He was soooooo excited !!! We won the game....22-0. ( I think that was the final score). We felt kinda bad that the other team didn't ever score....well not THAT bad. It was a fun little game, but our boys were BORED in the field b/c the other team couldn't hit very well.

Well, time to get my blanket, curl up on the couch, and watch the Big Brother finale. Good night all...maybe I will be more interesting tomorrow.

Who are you people???

Okay, so last week I put a counter on my blog... holy moly...I have been getting over 100 hits a days. It is just little ole' me. Who are all ya'll people ( yes, I am in Texas,therefore I fully have the right to type ya'll ) With that being said I do have to say that I am guilty of blog jumping and finding some really fun and interesting blogs. That is what I do at 6 in the morning when I don't feel like starting work yet. Speaking of early mornings.. I came in this morning about 5:45 so that I could start editing baseball pictures from this week. The boys had to wear red under armour and it made their shirts reflect big time on their skin. Oh well, they are still adorably cute boys !!!

Oh, just a thought came to mind when I was looking at the pics that I posted. We ( the coaches and myself included ) are always yelling at Ryan to get "baseball ready". I think I have come to the conclusion that Ryan standing there staring at us like ( "Shut the F up") is his baseball ready. I am going to try to work on that tonight. ( yes we have another game tonight and hopefully we will kick some ass like we did before !! ). Also, I am thinking that I might have to "incentivise" ( is that a word ? ) him a little. I am thinking I will tell him that IF he gives 100% and is energized and on his A game then Daddy will take him skating this weekend. Heck, I am going to be out of town so Daddy can deal with it.... evil laughing as we speak !!

Here are a couple from this weekend.









I don't really want to put any on there that have pics of kids who's parents I don't know !!!

In case you want to know...

Okay, we have been pretty busy this weekend so I will give you the quick run down.

Let's see, Friday we went over to Ryan's baseball coach's house. (We'll shorten that to Coach T. for blog purposes ) We were supposed to pick up our uniforms and such and much to our dismay, our jerseys did not get here in time for the game. That was okay, the boys had their hats, pants, and under armour to wear. So, we stayed over there until around 10 or so... ( what is it with those boys and offering me beer? I guess they didn't remember that we had to get up early for the game !! )

As I woke up on Saturday I prepared a day of pure craziness. I HAD to leave with Ry at 9:30 at the latest. Oh, did I mention that Rae had a soccer game at the EXACT same time as Ry's baseball game? She did, but I had to go to the baseball game b/c I am the team photographer...So, Chris is running late as usual, and I FINALLY get out of the house. The baseball game was AMAZING !!! There was a team this summer/spring known as the Heat and they were a pretty good team. We'll, we basically played them yesterday and SMOKED them. The final score was 18-6. Our little Legends played so well together ( remember, this was the first game of the season and the first time they had all played together ). They really are a good little team !!!

Ry's baseball game ended at 12 and his soccer game started at 1, so I had to haul ass to get him there. Now soccer is different this year. They actually keep score and have a real ump. It was funny b/c we played a team who had two of the Legend players on it. Ry was stoked to play them. Our soccer team won 10-6. ( It really was a great day for sports) Ry scored a goal and had about 3-4 assists. He was exhausted !!!

Afterwards we came home for Rae to take a nap. Then I took the kids swimming over at Coach T's house with some of the other baseball players. Chris came and got Ry and took him to play laser tag. Rae wanted to stay with me ( why does this not surprise me?? ) Anyway, I just hung out with some our friends at Coach T's house until around 10:30 and then came home and CRASHED !!!!!

Now it is 8:30 on Sunday morning. The kids are still asleep and I need to clean house BAD right now !!! I must quit typing and do this.

Sorry this post is boring, but it really is just an update from the weekend. It has been a great weekend, but just busy and very beer, baseball and soccer oriented !! LOL

Only 5 more days til Dallas !!!

why....why....why....???

Why can't grown men make decisions? Seriously, some of them have the decision making skills of my 6 yr old !!!! As a woman who has been in the work force with men for many years I am still left in amazement at how "men" handle business.

Here is my scenario of how decisions are made with men.

1. There is a problem, however it takes men three times as long to realize there is a problem because they are oblivious to all the shit in the office going on around them. ( this would be solved if they talked to the women of the office about potention problems...so much time and energy would be saved using this tactic !! )

2. The men FINALLY realize there is a problem and they decide to hold a meeting to talk about the problem.

3. All the men check their little blackberry's and agree on a time. Now ladies, we all know that this first meeting is not actually going to happen !! Instead one of them cancels for something he forgot to put into his blackberry or cancels just to avoid the meetings. ( so he doesn't have to deal with the office problems that day. He would rather go out to lunch with all his buddies )

4. A second meeting is planned and for once they all show up. None of them have enough balls to really confront the problem, so they tiptoe around the subject and NOTHING gets accomplished. It is a bunch of testerone bouncing off the conference room walls and it is left for us women to clean up.

5. Next, all the women in the office are PISSED !!!! They know the problem, recognize the problem and are ready to fix the problem. Therefore one woman marches into another woman's office and calls for people to meet them in there. ( you see we do not need to schedule meetings in our precious little blackberry's....that is something called spontaneity ( look it up men !! ). The women don't waste anytime getting down to business. Within five minutes a decision is made as to what needs to happen.

6. The head "woman" marches into one of the men's office and lays it all out for him. He looks at her, blinks his eyes and goes, " That is a pretty good idea...I hadn't thought about it from that aspect. I will talk to the other guys about it"

7. The men have to "meet" to discuss the idea the women come up with, which includes the before mentioned 2 meeting quota and still NOTHING is accomplished.

8. Eventually the men forget what problem they are trying to solve or just get tired of trying to solve it. So what happens........

9. The head "guy" walks into the head "gals" office and says, "Hey, I've been made aware of this...can you handle it for me? " ( and he walks out )

10 The head "gal" wants to rip off the head "guys" head but instead she focuses on fixing the problem.

11. Ten minutes later the head "gal" walks into the head "guys" office, tells him the problem is solved and walks out. The guy just gives her that " what the fuck" look....

THAT is why women should make all the decisions. Men should stick to what they are good at...golf, drinking, and shooting shit !!!

It's Friday !!! It's Friday !!!

I wish it was 4:30 on Friday, but it is Friday none the less.

Let's see, do you really want to know my schedule????

Okay, check this out....

Reagan's soccer game: 9:00
Ryan's baseball game: 10:30
Ryan's soccer game: 1:30

Can we say busy??

Tomorrow night is basically a free night. Hey Teresa... we should do dinner!!! Oh wait....is that the night of the "party" you are going to? LOL !!!!! Call me and we can discuss !!!!

I saw the halloween superstore opened up by me. I guess I will go there and scope out costumes. I am hoping that someone actually has an "adult" halloween party this year. That would be some fun times !!!

Okay folks, seven days until I go to Dallas to visit my best friend. Actually, my other best friend from here in houston is going with me. This is an annual trip that Sash and I take. It is a weekend of straight up balls to the wall good times. Christi.....I CAN'T WAIT !!!!!! The three of us are trouble together...but in a good way.

Anyway, I hope everyone has a great weekend !! I am awful at updating this thing on Sat. and Sundays. I will try to post the outcome of Ry's opening game. I have no clue what position he is playing, but the most important thing is that he plays 100% no matter where he is on the field !!!

Happy Friday!!

I am trying out a new "theme" so to speak. It won't stay, but these days it fits me!! I don't really have anything interesting to blog about.

Oh, yesterday Rae had the WORST tantrum I have ever seen in my life. We get home from daycare and the kids are wanting a snack. I told them no b/c I was about to fix them something for dinner. ( Ry had baseball practice and I wanted to feed them before we left)

Rae: I wwwwaaannnnttt a ssssnnnnnaaaaccckkkk ( I want a snack in 4yr old whiny voice)

Me: Rae, I told you no snack. I am about to fix dinner.

Rae: Buuuttt I nnneeevvveeerrrr hhhhaaaddd a ssssnnnnaaaccckkk ( but I never had a snack).

Me: I said NO!!!

She sits down on the tile floor and starts crying.

Me: Don't start or you will go to your room and there will be no dinner.

Rae looks at me and proceeds to scream at the top of her lungs ( and I am talking a shrill scream that could shatter windows !! )

Rae: I HATE YOU !!!! ( there was no whining, just straight up I hate you!! )

I was seeing RED. She proceeded to stand up and scream and scream and scream !!!!!

What did I do??? I started laughing. I couldn't help it. She was so mad and so pissed off about a snack!!!

Me: You have got to be kidding me. Rae go to your room.

Rae: NO!!!!!

Me: Go to your room NOW !!!

Rae stomps up the stairs and slams her door. Shit, I am in trouble in about 10 years. If she does this at 4 what in the hell will she do when she is 14?

Maybe I can get a two for one deal on the military school !!!!

I let her come down when dinner was ready and she ate and apologized. Ugh, what is it with kids?

That was the highlight of my night. Ry had baseball practice and was like a freaking pogo ball out there. He couldn't stay still. I don't know what his problem was.

Oh, I finished my other book. It is "The Plain Truth" by Jodi Picoult. I have read about 5 of her books now and I am on the hunt for more. She is an amazing story teller. I am picky about what authors I like to read and very rarely do I find an author where I want to read EVERYTHING they have ever written. The last author I was this crazy about was Amy Tan. ( she wrote the "Joy Luck Club") I think I have read everything she has written as well. Anyway, I was up until about one reading and then I went to bed. I was so tired that I immediately fell into a deep sleep. I was having the most livid and wonderful dreams. I have always been able to remember my dreams, but last night they were amazing !!!

Time to get to work and get this Thursday over with. We have yet another baseball practice tonight ( 3rd this week). I am going to try to contain my excitement!! ( can you sense the sarcasm? )

need your help...

I am wanting to rename my blog, but I have no clue what to call it....

I am thinking something like

Baseball and Baby Doll's

Baseball and Butterfly's

Baseball and Bow's

However, part of me wants the title to be about me and not the kids...

Help !!! I suggestions !!!!!

I will create the graphics for it of course and have someone html code it so I can revamp the page....

Come on...I want lots of suggestions...

The day OUR world changed...

I had just walked into work and my mom came up to me and asked if I had heard about the planes. We turned on the radio and I started watching all the news stations on the internet. My heart shattered into a million pieces. It was unimaginable and terrifying that someone would do this to innocent people. At the same time I was mad. I was mad that someone ended so many lives and tried to destroy America's heart. As Americans we all know that didn't happen.

Our company gave us the option to leave. I left as quickly as possible and picked up Ry at the babysitters. I remember sitting in the living room , holding him, and just crying. I was blessed that my family was safe, but at the same time hundred's of other families were mourning. It is still hard to process to this day.

Also, don't forget the brave men and women who risked their own lives for others. Don't just remember them on this day. Remember them every day. Remember the ones that serve and protect you!!!

Just one beer....

Last night I went to the gym with Teresa. We had a great work-out, made all the people around us blush with our conversation ( ha ha!! ) and then I went home...or that is where I was on my way to. I drive through my neighborhood and the "dads" are in one of their garages. Okay, so sometime over the past 2 years I think I have become one of the "dads". I have no clue if they even realize I am a girl.

So, I stop to say "hey" and they tell me to grab a beer. I was like, "Okay, but I can only have one beer because I have got to get home" Anyway, the guys are chatting and talking and I am listening to conversations about "guy" stuff I guess. Whoops, the beer is empty, time to head home..." Jill, just have another beer" ( oh and I didn't add that it is Miller Lite which, well, without being snotty...it isn't my drink of choice, but it was there so that is what I drank). " Okay, I will have just one MORE beer". When I finished this beer the dad's wife had come home. She insisted that I stay and have another beer, "Just one beer Jill". Actually I don't think I finished that beer, but none the less I am sure how you can see how "just one beer" can turn into a drunken Monday night. I left soon after that and went home.

I did have "just one beer".....just three times.

Today I have a pounding headache from the small quantity of Miller Lite that I did consume... that folks would be why I do not usually drink Miller Lite. I think next time I hang out with the dad's I will go to the store and get "just one beer" of a brand that won't leave me with a splitting headache.

Off to take more Excedrin....

The costume debacle....

Okay, I found the costume that I want for Rae....
How stinking cute would she be in this???



that or this...



What do you think?

I don't want any of that fairy shit for her this year !! LOL

the kicker... it is 35.00 !!!



I just asked Rae and she wants to be Bat Girl...sorry mom!!!! However, she will make THE CUTEST batgirl ever !!!

A Monday...

Today is a Monday and like most Mondays I woke up on the wrong side of the bed...

Okay, most mornings I wake up REALLY early bug, you see, I am NOT a morning person. I never have and I never will be. I am a night owl. Anyway, last night I as up until about midnight or so reading. By the time I turned off the t.v and went to sleep it was around 1:30 or so. Therefore, 5 came REALLY early this morning. I kept hitting snooze. Finally around 5:45 or so I fell someone poking me. It was Rae and she was already awake. This doesn't surprise me since she fell asleep at 6 last night. Anyway, she was ALREADY whining. I told her to go lay on the couch and I would be out there after my shower. I hop in the shower only to realize that my new body wash and razors were in the kitchen...great. I get out and get these things. Rae tries to strike up a conversation with me as I run through the living room clenching my towel and freezing my hiny off. Ack, are you kidding me...a conversation at 5:45... that is NOT going to happen. So, I hop in the shower, get out and again she is waiting for me. ( ready to try for that conversation again... double ack !!! ) So, I get dressed and go to the living room to get Rae dressed. I hear my name being yelled from the shower. Chris is out of soap and needs more. The morning continues like this. Rae keeps talking, Ryan wakes up in a FOUL mood ( he is my child !! ) and is having melt down after melt down. I haven't had two minutes of peace and I am quickly losing it. Finally the kids are in the truck and I am ready to go and.... I can't find my cell phone. I turned it off the night before b/c the batteries were dying so I couldn't even call it to figure out where it went. CRAP !! I spend 15 minutes looking for my POS I like to call a phone and FINALLY get out the door. I was in a better mood the minute I got in my car b/c for once that morning I had PEACE AND QUIET !!!! So,there is my morning... a total Monday.

This week is going be a long one. We have a lot of sports and a lot of stuff going on. As of this morning I am not ready for it... nope not one bit. I am still drained physically and emotionally from this weekend. I hope I find the energy and strength somewhere this week.

Okay, to end this post on a positive note...
Has everyone heard a new song on the radio whose words are like this...
"Baby, where'd you get that body from?" "Baby, where'd you get that body from?"

Okay, well Rae has heard this song somewhere. The other night Rae and I were sitting in the car waiting for Ry to finish up baseball practice and this song came on the radio.
The person on the radio is singing:
"Baby, where'd you get that body from?" "Baby, where'd you get that body from?"

Reagan bust out with the next words ( which really are the words in the song)
"I got it from my Mamma, I got it from my Mamma". I just about peed my pants. She was in tune, on que and said it with such diva attitude. It was so funny. Oh and yep, she is right..I have a feeling Rae is going to be built JUST like me.... poor kid !! LOL

This is easy...

having one kid. Ry went fishing/boating with Resa and Stephen last night and will be gone all day today. Rae stayed with me. it is 9 in the morning and I haven't had to listen to ANY fighting. Wow !!!! Okay, so a few people have asked about Ry's punishment for the school stuff. Can I just say that Chris sucked big ones when it came to handing down a punishment. Like I said in my last post, I went out Friday after work with Sash so Chris had to handle everything on Friday night. Needless to say, this is what Ry got to do this weeked.

1. Go to soccer practice
2. ( he was going to be able to play in the game, but it got cancelled)
3. Go to the b-day party AND skate and have a good time
4. Go to Drakes.

I am waiting to "see the light" when it comes to this punishment. Am I the only who thinks thathe got NO punishment? Yup, I agree with you, but Chris thinks that Ry will change b/c he talked to him. I have twenty dollars riding on the bet that I get another phonecall in the next 10 days !!!

Well, it is Sunday and I think I get some laundry done and just be lazy today!!
( with a trp to the gym thrown in there !! )

Have a good Sunday everyone!!

Oh, and remember today is Grandparent's day, so tell your grandparent's that you love them !!!

Military School...here we come...

If you think I am joking, think again. Please, someone, anyone tell me there is a military school for 1st graders. Shit, the child hasn't been in school for 10 days and I am already getting calls.

About an hour ago my phone rings. Here is the conversation:

Teacher: Mrs.H, this is Mrs. G. I am calling regarding Ryan. ( at this point my blood starts to boil. EVERY single call I have ever gotten from his teachers have been on a Friday afternoon !!

Me: Yes, how can I help you?

Teacher: I have been having problems with Ryan this week and I need to discuss them with you. ( Wow, last year at least I got a "Ryan is a very smart little boy and is so loveable and sweet"...nope not this year...this year it is, " Your son pissed me off and you are the parent so f'in do something about it !!")

Me: What has he done this time?

Teacher: Well, I wanted to let you know that I sent a note home about an incident that happened in class on Wednesday.

Me: Yes, I dind't get the note.

Teacher: That is because Ryan finally confessed today that he ripped out the note and threw it away. ( My blood pressure, which is usually uncommonly low is now RISING FASTER AND FASTER !! )

Teacher: I wrote a note because he was misbehaving and talking back to me. I put him in a chair and told him he needed to be quiet. He said, "Make Me!! ". ( ummm, WTH??? If he ever said that to me he would have soap in his mouth in a heartbeat...yup, go ahead and call CPS, but I would MAKE HIM miserable if he thinks he can talk to people like that !! )

Teacher: Once he sat down he started throwing rubber blocks at all the kids in the room. ( again, where is this coming from??? My child is no angel by any means, but he is 6.5 and temper tantrums are usually left to Rae !! ).

Me: ( under my breather)"I am going to kill him !!" ( no I am not really going to kill him, but I will make his life miserable this weekend !! )

Me: I am sorry he is behaving like this, his Dad and I will handle this situation.

The conversation went on for another 10 minutes or so about how CRAPPY Ry has been acting, but I won't translate all of that.

All I know is that Ry is GROUNDED for the weekend which means....
NO SPORTS
NO PARTIES
NO FUN !!!

He will be writing sentences as much as possible. They will read something like this.

I will not be rude to my teacher.
I will not throw things.
I will be quiet in class.
I will sit still on the carpet.
I will not drive my mom crazy anymore.
I will not be a bratty shit anymore. ( okay, not the last two, but you get my point!!)

Good thing I am meeting Sash for drinks after work. I don't think I could handle seeing him right now. I am too mad !!!!!

He better be careful or there will be no baseball next week either!!!

HEATHEN !!!

I got sucked in...

and I swore I wouldn't...to the MTV show Newport Harbor. Yes, I know this show is for the younger generation, but I can't help but watch it and be fascinated. It brings back sooooo many memories of when I was a teenager. I used to watch Laguna Beach and I loved that show as well. I am so weak I tell you.

So I posted a bulletin on myspace and it was a questionaire thingy about my Senior Year. Well, one of my old friends sent me a message about one of my answers. I realized then just how twisted and crazy things were back then. We were just like the kids on Newport Harbor ( minus driving the Range Rovers and sunbathing on daddy's yacht ). Minus all the money we were pretty much the same. It was all about who liked who, who was hooking up with who, etc...etc... One of the questions was would you go back and do it again. In a heartbeat. Would I make some different decisions? I'm not sure really. I mean now that everything is said and done it all turned out great and in return I have some amazing friends, so who is to say that I would do anything different. All of that made up part of who I am today you know? (even the shittiest, darkest days)

Here are some of my favorite highschool memories ( these aren't all senior year ones)

- After the floods of 94' I remember being trapped in my neighborhood with my parents for like 3 days. The minute I could get out I went straight to Hillary's house and stayed there for 48 hours I think. Our boyfriends were best friends and so were we. I remember hanging out with them and waching movies. We were soooo innocent back then. Gotta love puppy love.

-On the subject of Hillary's house I remember her mom would always make me chocolate chip cookies without the chocolate chips ( because I didn't eat chocolate for like 5 years.... weird I know, but if you know me you know I am a weird eater anyway). Her mom also made these greenbeans that were TDF. She taught me how to make them and I still make them to this day!! The first bite always reminds me of standing in their kitchen and waiting for them to be ready. Hill-you and I grew apart towards the end of our highschool years, but sooooo many memories are with you in them !!!! Love ya girlie !!!

-I remember one night I snuck out with Lacie and as we were climbing in the bedroom window my mom was standing right there. Bless my mom's heart...she NEVER told Lacie's parents. I think I got grounded for a week or something lame like that (sorry Mom, but you were LENIANT on me....don't know if my kids will be that lucky!!)

-I said this in the bulletin thing, but I remember a party over at Tamara's house and I got a flat tire b/c I ran over a beer bottle. In my drunken mind I thought that I could fix it with duck tape ( let me add here that you CANNOT fix a flat with duck tape). That same night I had to bring Jess home with me b/c she was too drunk to drive ( I had sobered up from the flat tire incident)

- Okay, last one... I remember spending MANY a nights on a certain trampoline ( don't ask MOM !! ) and driving home on the back roads behind my neighborhood. One morning ( Yes Mom, that is where I was coming from when I came home at 7 in the morning) I was driving home and there was an OSTRICH in the middle of the road. There was an ostrich/emu farm behind our neighborhood and I guess one had gotten out. I knew better than to get out of my truck. So, I had to sit there for like 20 minutes until the damn thing would move. To this day Chris doesn't believe me or thinks I was all hyped up on something ( which I was NOT !!! ).

Wow, I have soooo many more, but these are the ones that just popped into my head.

Wait, one more sorry, this one was AFTER highschool, but really funny none the less. Actually I think it was the Christmas after highschool. Okay, so does everyone remember night moves??? Okay, well Christi and I ( and some other people ) went there one night. We chugged cups of vodka and something mixed with it on the way up there and then proceeded to take shots of vodka and crown I believe before we went in. Needless to say we were TRASHED !! It was an interesting night to say the least. Christi, can you say random boys????? Anyway, when we went to take her home her mother was waiting up for her and this was the conversation..LOL just thinking about typing it.

Christi's Mom- Christi are you drunk?
Christi- ( as she leans against the wall to hold herself up)- NO, Mom, I am not DDDDDrunk.
Christi's Mom- Christi are you drunk?
Christ- ( as she begins to crawl her way to the stairs)- No Mom,I am just tired...I am nnnnnoooooottt DDDDDDRunk.

Can you see where this is going? I did not want the wrath of her mom so I quickly slipped out of the house and took my happy ass home !! LOL Christi's mom thought I was a bad influence on her. Nope, not the case, we just didn't make the best decisions together sometimes !!

I had hit publish post, when I thought of one more..

-This happened the summer after my senior year. Kam and I hung out ALL the time. I remember one night ( in the middle of the week ) we decided to go party at our friend's lake house ( ON LAKE LIVINGTSTON !!!! ). I kind of remember that night (again sorry Mom, I wasn't as innocent as you thought, you might want to stop reading now !! LOL ). Kam, that was the night where I to decide between two guys right??? LOL Anyway, I remember waking up the next morning ( well it was 10 in the morning) and thinking OH SHIT WHERE AM I? Here is the kicker...I had a job that summer as an intern at a REAL company. I had to call in and make up some crap about being sick. Oh and with the mention of Kam, can I just say that whole summer was one big FUN memory!!! I could go on and on about that one. We were nuts girl. I think the whole Friday soundtrack was our motto to live by that summer. Lova ya chica !!

Okay, done now and hitting publish post !!

Time to myself...

Sometimes I just need some time to myself. Last night Ry had baseball practice and while I was sitting there reading my book ( yet another Jodi Picoult book )I had this overwhelming urge that I needed to get the hell out of there and be by myself. There was no reason for it, but I just needed to get away. Ry was practicing, Rae was running around and I really just needed some peace and quiet. Once Chris got there I quickly packed up my stuff and headed to the gym. I already had my work-out clothes with me so I quickly changed and hit the machines.

There is something about being in the zone, feeling sweat drip down your body and letting all the thoughts of the day go with each step on the elliptical. As I focus on the words of the book I am reading I find myself engrossed in another world, in someone elses life and for a little bit, I escape. ( not that I am escaping from anything bad, but we all need a break every now and then ). As my heart beats faster and faster I put the book down and deal with the emotions and bullshit of the day. Sometimes it is processing happiness, other times it is processing stress. Whatever the case may be for some reason the gym is like therapy for me. Especially when I go alone. As I make my way over to the recumbant bike ( because my knee is throbbing, thank you drill-team...ugh) I sit down and start pedaling as fast as my legs will go. My legs are burning and with each cycle I want to stop, but I know I have to keep going and going. That is the way life is you know? Sometimes you want it to stop for a few minutes so you can catch your breath, but we all know that isn't possible. I close my eyes and start processing all my thoughts. I sort out the things that need done at work, home, etc... I plan out a make-shift schedule of the week so I am not frantically trying to get the kids from here to there and so that I can try to get a grip on my scatterbrainedness. ( is that a word? ) When my time is up on the bike I stop and slowly stand up. My legs are shaking and room is slightly spinning. I love this feeling. Why? I don't know, but I have always loved that feeling of having everything drained from me. I take a drink of water and head over to the machines/weights. I work on my problem area...my legs... ack, it is not as easy to get my legs skinny as it was in highschool, damn getting old is hard sometimes. I climb onto one of the machines and as I am doing leg presses my muscles feel like they are on fire. My legs begin shaking and again I close my eyes and put my head back and enjoy the burn. Eventually I am done with my work-out. I feel like a new person. I am ready to go home and leave behind anything that was bothering me, stressing me out, or embrace the thing that is making me happy.

When I got home last night the kids were fed, showered and already in bed. Chris did good. It was a good night. No, not that I don't want to see my kids at night, but I feed them, give them a shower, and put them to bed the majority of the time so having a night off was nice. I wasn't totally off the hook though. At 1 in the morning Rae came to my room. I was exhausted and couldn't even have the middle of the night battle with her. Therefore, she won and got to sleep with me. Yep, I was weak last night !!!

Anyway, so that was my night last night. I will probably go back to the gym tonight. It is Wednesday and I don't have much else going on. The kids can play in the kid area while I do a rinse and repeat of last night. This gym membership is much cheaper than therapy I tell you !!

In depth...

Okay, so I am finally at work and I am able give you a few updates about the weekend.
First off, I apologize that I kept saying Memorial Day. Yes,I know it was Labor Day, but please remember that I have two children and I forget what day of the week it is most of the time. I am lucky to remember Christmas !!!

So, yesterday was fun. We went over to my sister's house to swim and my niece Jenna had a friend over playing. Her name is Lindsey ( the friend, not my niece ). Lindsey is 6 and Ryan thought she was soooo pretty. The funny thing is that Lindsey has a crush on Ry as well. As sweet as I thought this was,it kind of freaked me out. I mean, I knew that there would be a day where Ry would start liking Jenna's friends. I just didn't know it would be at 6 yrs old. We were eating dinner at my parents and Ry was very adamant that Lindsey sit by him. Awwwwwww !!!!!

Then we went to see baby Emma. I thought Rae would be all excited about it, but do you know who was the most inquisitive??? Ryan !!! He told me that he wanted a little brother... Sorry kiddo, not gonna happen !!!!! The LAST thing that I need is a baby. Baby Emma is gorgeous and sweet and I didn't want to give her back !!!

I finally got a new card reader so I was able to upload all the pictures. I figured I would put the big ones on my blog, but all you really have to do is click on the picture and you can see the big version on it, so I am not going to waste my time!!

Today I am back at work. Rain is in the forecast, which is quite depressing. Rae is suuposed to have soccer practice today, however I wouldn't be surprised if it got rained out. What doesn't get rained out these days?????