I am back....

I can't believe it has been three and a half months since my last post. So much has happened in my life, good and bad I guess. I am not sure even where to begin.

My summer was a roller coaster. There are nights from this summer that will stay with me forever... vegas nights, 4th of July fireworks, shooting stars, trips to Midland, and so much more. It will be a summer that I will never forget for the rest of my life.
I was alive this summer. I laughed, I smiled, and I loved from the tips of my toes to the end of my nose. The nights were long and the days were filled with happiness. My memories from this summer are priceless and I will never forget my summer of 2008.

Now that summer is over life is getting back to normal. Ryan and Reagan are back in school. They are loving their new school. Can you believe Rae is in Kindy, cause I sure as hell can't. I am so proud of them though. Poor kids have been through so much this past year, yet they are both happy and full of life still. If only I could be as strong as they are...so resilient and brave. They are not the quiet and self-reserved kind of children. They never have been and I really don't want them to be. I want everyone in their life to love them for who they are, not who they want them to be. This is a huge life lesson I have learned this summer as well. Ry and Rae are my children, and I am their Mother. It is up to me to surround them with loving and amazing people. I just can't wait to see how much they change and grow in the next year.

As for me, I am doing okay...well, as good as I can be. I have had a lot of obstacles this year and hell, I am still on a road filled with road blocks, but I know that will only lead me to destination of happiness. I have learned that I can love someone down to my core and I have learned that I am deserving of a love like that. I have learned what it feels like to know that anger does not have to be a part of my life, and that laughter and happiness can fill it instead. I have also come to accept that not all loves are meant to last and that you have to let some loves go to see if they come back to you. I have gotten to experience loving someone so much that I can't breathe at times. I know what it is like to be in a person's arms and feel safe and secure, but I also found out what it is like to not have those arms around you all the time. I have learned what a broken heart feels like and that it is one of the worst pains I have ever felt. I also have felt hope and having faith that true love will conquer all. Above all I have learned that it is okay to be sad over telling someone goodbye, and it is okay to hurt, and it is okay to be weak at times. I have learned that it is okay to love someone as much as you possibly can.

The next few months are going to be my journey. I have changed so much in the past year and I hope that with these changes my life will turn into everything good intended for me. I know my friends and family will always be there for me and that they love me unconditionally.