Please let me explain...

I feel really bad for not updating my blog as often as I used to. Honestly, it is kind of hard to post anything these days. I don't like to post unhappy things and definitely not personal things. Well, it seems that 99% of the stuff going on in my life is very personal and often times sad. Why do you think I always blog about baseball? It is my release and a way to escape my world for those two hours. My emotions are raw these days. I have never felt more empowerment and loss at the same time. While everything as I know it has changed one thing has remained constant. That is the love for my children, family, and friends. As the world spins around me these loved ones in my life seem to be able to reach in and keep me from spinning out of control with it. Sometimes you take people like this for granted and I will never take these amazing beings for granted ever again. So, as you see things are complicated....life is complicated. I am excited to have a fresh start. I am excited to look into my future and know that I am in control of my destiny. I am in control of my heart. I am in control of myself finally. That is an amazing, yet very scary feeling. For once in my life I am not relying on someone else to make me happy. What a journey I am on!

As for the kids, they are doing good. Ry has been behaving in school and Rae has actually been in a great mood ! We will be moving in the next week. Ry will start a new school, and he is actually excited about this possibility. Rae will beleaving her preschool and she will start a new mother's day out program that is only a few days a week. I however will be driving over an hour an a half to and from work.....sigh... oh well..it is only time right? I CAN do this !! ( that will have to be my mantra over the next six months !! )

Once things are settled I am sure I will have happier posts and the frequency of them will increase. Until then, I apologize in advance for the lack of communication here !!!